Conditional Commitment

I had one of those moments last night and this morning, you know where you completely blow something out of proportion, or take something to heart – in other words be completely human!

 

My partner came round last night and I have been doing some huge soul searching around our relationship the last few days, so I am guessing that added to my vulnerability. And funnily enough every ‘solution’ given to me from myself and my spiritual pit crew went way to the kerb and I reacted like I wasn’t the evolved being that I am.

 

You see my partner has been a cranky pants of late, moaning, groaning and being negative about everything and anything he can get his hands on. And it gets me frustrated as I pick up on it and decide to join him in the negative nelly ranks rather than find a way to either ignore or pick him gently up and bring him over to the light side.

 

The nail on the coffin last night was when I finally gave him a beautiful poem I had written for our 9 year anniversary but hadn’t had the guts to give him till this moment. A moment of which was already feeling pretty down in the dumps (such good timing on my behalf!) It bared my soul to him in the ways in which I would always choose him and us and yet when I asked him if he chose me in return, and he made a joke about it – in that moment I chose to react badly (think little girl pout and all) and not choose him in that moment at all.

It continued to this morning, even after he left, in which he gave me a beautiful goodbye kiss (which I chose to kinda ignore) when I started checking my phone for all the wonderful positivity etc stuff that I have come up on my phone.

 

Funnily enough there was a new Youtube video by Brad Yates – Tapping extraordinaire (if you have never used his vids – go check him out, he is the best). All I could see on my phone was Conditional Commitment, and I realised in these petty moments I have been having, I was indeed choosing to only commit to my partner if he said the words back, if he acted like I wanted to him to act, the list goes on.

Don’t get me wrong, I needed to feel these emotions and feelings, no matter whether they were the whole truth or not, but I also needed to take a giant step back after it and look at it properly and not from my hurt self.

No one is perfect, I surely am not (although I am imperfectly perfect J) so why was I seeking out perfection in my partner? Why wasn’t I taking him for what he is at this point in time, and only concentrating on how to not let myself get caught up in his feelings. Because me changing myself and my mood because of him – that is ALL on me, that is my issue and not his at all.

So now I have taken a step back from my woe is me state and realised some things. 1. It is time to let my love be unconditional 2. He shows me chooses me all the time in the actions that he does and sometimes says – it is my problem if I choose not to see them or acknowledge them when I am in a mood 3. There is some work to be done on my boundaries and way of being, so that I am not swayed like this from anyone. There are more but you get the drift.

So next time something happens around your relationships, feel the grrr, then take a step back and look for the lessons. I promise you that you will find them and grow from it.

I surely have, and now it is time to send lots of love to my man AND practice what I preach.

 

Till next time… keep walking your spiritual path xx

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Lightness

When I discovered what I truly was, I immediately felt a lightness that I have never felt before. Straight away everything started to make sense to me. The heavy weight on my shoulders that I always seemed to carry lessened and I felt a big sigh of relief, one for understanding why I always felt very different from everyone else but also because that internal flicker – that candle that is your true self and your connection to source could finally burn bright and jumped up and down in delight that the truth was finally out there.  

The lightness continued to grow as I delved into my past lives and the reason for coming to walk the Earth as a human. It all started making so much sense to me – why I was how I was and what I carried into this life that was actually from past lives that I have guided.  I am slowly able to leave those feelings and actions and let them go now that I have acknowledged and honoured them. And if they are not quite ready to leave yet, I am able to see exactly where they stem from in order to move forward.

 My childhood was traumatic and hard to say the least, I have carried so much sadness, frustration and bitterness from it, to name a few of the emotions that roil around inside of me. When I learnt what I was though and some of my role for being here – it lessened. Just knowing and accepting that I came here to discover human emotions was almost like an epiphany. Of course I had to go through hell, otherwise how could I have learned all that I needed to learn? It began to make sense to me and again the lightness started to creep its way in. It is still a work in progress but just knowing that helps in ways I cannot even describe to you. Knowing I need the skills and knowledge I learnt from these experiences to help others and to bring back my learnings to the Angelic Realm is enough to lighten the load I normally carry.

 I am also feeling a lightness each and every day as I discover that is now my time to shine. The next phase of my life has started and there is no need to stay in those lower energies any longer. It is time to heal, empower, inspire, teach and uplift those around me and I cannot be doing that if I choose to stay down myself.

Each and every day source is giving me signs and guidance on the path to take, the relearning of skills and knowledge I need comes to me in the right time and place and I am happily allowing and receiving all they have for me. There is something so freeing and liberating to let go and just allow. I have no thoughts on where I will end up or be, I am just keen and eager on what they are going to show me next and to keep authentically moving forward.

 

Don’t get too caught up in the end result. Happily meander your way through life and let source be your guide and start to feel your own brand of lightness.

 

All of my love Aria-Bella xx

Mourning

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When I first realised what I was and slowly started delving into it more there were many emotions, as you can imagine, that I started to feel, both good and the not so good.

 

The biggest emotion that I felt was grief, I mourned ‘home’. That place in the Angelic Realm that I knew would be unlike anything we could possibly experience on this Earth. I missed the peace, positivity and elation that I just knew would be common themes up there where nothing ‘bad’ can occur. Yes we had to do our own healings and healings on souls that have had a traumatic life, but that wasn’t due to anything in the Angelic Realm but what had occurred when we helped those out of it.

 

At first I just couldn’t imagine why I would choose to come here to experience all of what a human experiences and then some when I could have been safely up there guiding others on their path like I have done for 1000’s of years. It made me not only feel grief but feel slightly bitter on all that I had encountered in my life so far, luckily it is all beginning to make a lot more sense to me now and I feel grateful for everything that I have experienced and learnt from.

 

I mourned what I felt was lost to me, only discovering now that all of those skills and knowledge are coming back to me at the right time and in ways that are gentle and right for this human body to handle, with some practice. Calibrations are what my family are calling them and they come and go and leave some amazing new talents and information that I am still learning and trialling. Being able to work in the Angelic Realm is absolutely awe inspiring. Speaking of family, I missed my Angelic family – although I know they are around me all of the time, I still missed them like you wouldn’t believe.

 

I felt unimaginable grief for the lives that had been shown to me that I had guided, as I processed their deaths all over again and how they related to me now. Being able to walk through their lives again and how I was with them is an amazing experience but as their Angel you carry their burdens (hence the healing) so it has been at times pretty intense and raw. I am looking forward to seeing more as the time unfolds and also applying it to the life I am leading now, so I can let go and then honour them as they are meant to be honoured.

 

All of my love Aria-Bella xx

What is in a name

My name is Julia, the name always felt quite weird to say and form, never quite sitting right but hey it is my name so what are you going to do.

I had known for some time that this was my first incarnation and that I was an Angel previously but it finally clicked after a Past Life Reading with my spiritual mentor, also known as Super J, exactly why it never sat quite right with me as more information came to light. The name that I have used since the dawning of time is Aria-Bella, and up until I chose to come and be a first time human, was the only one I’ve known. It clicked deep on a soul level why Julia never felt quite right, how could it when I have gone by a different name for so long. I guess it is similar to when you get married and all of a sudden you have a last name that you need to get used to.

I would like to say that once I had my true name, and knew of my true nature that I was off like a rocket and ready to tackle the world. Unfortunately that isn’t the case and it has really only been during this last week that I really allowed it to settle in to the very being of me and am allowing it to blossom how it needs too. Before this I went through a myriad of emotions, thoughts and feelings and basically kept all this knowledge separate as if it was happening to someone else, while at the same time being deliriously happy that everything was finally making sense to me.

 

This is the start of my journey to becoming authentically me and I hope you enjoy being along on the ride with me.

 

All of my love Aria-Bella xx

 

Many lives guided

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I am sure most of you have heard about past lives and how they can affect you now – positively and negatively. That you have been here time and time again, learning lessons and having your soul grow from this.

For me this is also true, but it has a twist. You see, this is my first ever human incarnation. It is my first time walking Earth on two feet as a human, so how does it affect me if I do not have any past lives?

I may not have had any past lives but I have guided countless lives before joining Earth myself. I am a Guardian Angel who helped with their lives and then helped them cross over peacefully when the time came for their souls to go back.

As a Guardian Angel – it was my duty to help take some of the burden of the life I was looking after. I couldn’t take all of it, if it was necessary to their path, but I could lessen it. Steering them back on their path if they had ventured too far off and keeping them safe, were all part of my duties. I could take away any fear, doubt etc. when their soul crossed to the other side. I helped create a smile instead of the terror they could have felt.

Some of this, I realised I had carried into my human life. Fears of certain things and places, when I hadn’t been affected directly by them myself in this life of mine. Feeling a particular way about something, blocks and so forth.

When I realised where some of my issues stemmed from – the big sigh of relief was intense. It made so much sense to me and settled deep into my soul for the releasing to begin.

The tears that I shed for these lives, especially some of the extremely traumatic, were cathartic to me and the souls that were affected. I mourned them and all they had gone through and I started to piece it to those issues I deal with now in this lifetime. Many threads of these souls were threaded through my own human one intricately.

I began to recognise and learnt to let go, it is still a process and as more is shown to me of my Angelic life, I am sure there will be many more times that I will need to do this. I still keep some of their threads with my own, but I am able to deal easier with them and let go of the extreme panic and feelings that can come with it. It can be hard when it is inherent in me to take these burdens, rather than let them go.

It was during a cleansing meditation that some of the souls that were still crossed over came to me and they helped to release me from the chains I had surrounded myself with from their lifetimes and know it wasn’t necessary for me to carry it anymore. I had gone above and beyond for them as their Guardian Angel so it was time to live freely. They said the best way to honour their lives that I had guided, was to live the best possible life I could in my own human incarnation. That struck strongly with me as I hadn’t been… So now I am living my true authentic life as best as I can for these amazing souls.

 

With all my love Aria-Bella xx